The Ah-Ha Moment
Call them epiphanies, eureka moments, or what have you.
Sometimes an “Ah-ha!” moment for me is not as instantaneous. That first moment of awareness doesn’t flip black into white with the mindless finger-tapping Ctrl+Z that I’m used to (as convenient as that would be!), but I am grateful for those micro-nudges towards a new direction. Like a click that needs some time to marinate before fully registering, it’s more of an “Ahhh………ha!”
Or maybe even “Ahh…hhuh?!…….ha!”
Regardless, it’s a process with no endpoint, like a tree with branches that continually expand or a regenerating cycle. My new favorite quote by Tyson Edwards comes from my Level II yoga training manual and it sums up that journey eloquently:
“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Choose your words, for they become actions.
Understand your actions, for they become habits.
Study your habits, for they will become your character.
Develop your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
-Tyson Edwards
I literally opened my eyes when my master trainer read that quote aloud to us yogi trainees during practice and thought, “Oh my god, what have I been thinking!”
Teetering back towards negativity, perhaps?
Maybe this might seem an exaggeration to some, but I really believe yoga (among some other things) has saved me from the worst of myself. That is, my basic warring inner demons: optimism versus realism, practicality versus irrationality, and impulsiveness versus logic…my heart pitted against my mind.
But training to teach yoga is doing more than opening my eyes, mind and heart…it is showing me that despite the differences, how they can be one. Sound like some yoga wooha? Maybe. Yours truly is still learning how to communicate yoga philosophy to others. Yoga is a journey I’ve only just initiated. Or if I’m going to more accurately practice my yoga, so to speak, re-creating a new journey each day.
My little sis chuckles every time I say practicing my yoga, probably because it’s usually accompanied with an exasperated sigh and self-deprecating laugh.
Exhibit A.
“Jie jie, now that you’re home I can wear your clothes for the last month of school, right?”
“Sure.”
“Tomorrow can I wear your black shirt? And on my bed, I have your turquoise shirt and brown belt, too, for later this week.”
“Mmhmm…”
“Oh! And on Saturday can I wear your black pants for the walk?”
“Okay, but they’re starting to get faded since I wear and wash them so much. Try not to get them muddy.” I take a deep breath and then shake my head, saying, “Argh! I’m not practicing my yoga…must let go of attachment!”
She laughs, but makes sure to double-check, “So I can wear them Saturday, right?”
What a cutie.
Anyhow, I’ve been reading a lot lately since yoga training has made me realize how much more I need to learn. Plus, I got tons of good book recommendations from both my master trainer and other trainees…and soooo, guess who spent $60 on Amazon last week?
But as usual, I’m digressing. Any wonder why my ah-ha’s uses ellipses instead of a dash?!
Anyhow, Eckhart Tolle wrote in A New Earth, “Some changes may look negative on the surface, but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.”
I love that line not because it’s telling me anything new, but because it got through to me at the right moment aka it was the last “…” in my “Ah……ha!” It can be so easy to underestimate the power of human denial: I realized that while I had been acknowledging the negative in my life (a good first step nonetheless), I’d forever run circles in square 1 if I didn’t act more positively on those timely u-turns into new directions.
That was the start of the first ah-ha. Face and replace.
Delayed update: my audition to teach yoga in the Fall went very well–she hired me on the spot! 