Practicing Some Practical Idealism
Sometimes, I like asking people whose opinion I value and respect what they think. Although most times, I ask after the fact just to get a different point of view. And almost always, I end up doing what I want to do anyhow, taking into consideration what I feel to be the most important. No wonder my grandmother told my mom I’m a willful child. Or maybe it’s just a self-fulfilling prophecy, hmm…
Anyhow, this is particularly true for matters of the heart, since I’m not one to hide it. For one thing, I can’t do that very well, as one of my good friends from high school can help illustrate:
“Ok, ok, let’s practice.”
“Shoot.”
“So, I show up at your door with flowers, what are you gonna say? I’m him.”
“Hmm, I guess I’d get real quiet because I’d try not to show my emotions.”
He laughs at me, “You can’t do that!”
“What!?”
“That shows the most!”
“Oh. Well, that’s what I did last time, damnit.”
“No, do something that you know he wouldn’t expect. What would he not expect you to do?”
This is tricky, so after contemplating it for a moment, I finally say, “I guess I’d whack him for doing something that’d make me cry.”
“No, no, no…” He gives an exasperated chuckle, “You can’t do that either!”
“Darn.” This is hard.
He goes on to explain, “’Cause then it’ll show him he can make you cry.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” But ever the Hopeful Heart, I charge ahead, “Let’s try another scenario? Maybe?”
“Haha, okay. Let’s say he calls you and asks you to do something with him—“
“I don’t pick up!!!” I say excitedly before realizing, “But then it goes to voicemail, and I’d have to call back…”
Unsurprisingly, we never really did resolve my issue to a satisfactory conclusion, although I definitely felt a lot better. And started seeing the lighter side of things, so to speak.
I suppose if we’re really going to analyze the situation here, I don’t believe in hiding emotions (professionalism excluded, of course) of my heart because I don’t want to ruminate about those What Ifs or swallow bittersweet regrets.
Or maybe I do regret some things, and am only in denial. But I figure if I know that I wouldn’t have done things any other way (even if looking back I probably should have), then at least I can let go and move on.
Then again it can very well be the utter lack of control over certain situations or knowing beforehand it’s really gonna hurt me something terrible that causes me the most stress. Either way, all I know is that I haven’t felt this much stress since my laptop took a swim a few weeks ago. Which, get this, got fixed for FREE by an on-site Sony technician!!!! I mean, there’s a slightly faded 1” vertical strip that wasn’t there before, but they extended my warranty 90 days…so, I’ll be getting a new LCD screen, too!
And sooo, who totally ROCKS? *raises hand*
Alright, I ought to stop my blogging and start all those papers I need to do, all of which are currently nonexistent. Well, unless you count blank Word documents with saved titles…
…in which case, they’d only be nearly nonexistent, right?
April 29th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Or, you could just say “That’s nice but [insert different type of flower here] would have been better.”
That puts him off-balance and distracts from any emotional reaction/non-reaction you might otherwise display.
dcr’s last blog post..Mundane Distraction
April 29th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Ooo, haha I’ll keep that in mind.
April 29th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
After second thought, I don’t think I could bring myself to say that convincingly because I’d feel too ungrateful.
Oi.
April 30th, 2008 at 8:58 am
On second thought too, why get involved in the dating “game” of one-upmanship? Why worry about showing emotions or not showing emotions or letting someone know what kind of effect he can have on you? The bottom line is that, if it is someone you want to have a future with, you have to let your guard done and “be yourself” and not worry about one-upmanship or things of that nature. The thing is that someone who would use that knowledge to manipulate you is not someone to get involved with. But, someone worthwhile would not manipulate you with that knowledge (except in a good way to display honest affection or emotion) and you cannot distinguish between the two types of people if you are playing games rather than approaching the situation with a more honest, albeit emotionally-exposed, way.
dcr’s last blog post..Wordy Wednesday (Again)
April 30th, 2008 at 9:32 am
Your second thought is exactly what I needed to read.